Trump to ban snowboarding if he wins US election

In a sensational last minute effort to sway ordinary voters, US Presidential candidate Donald Trump last night said he will pass a law banning snowboarding if he wins today’s election.

“Those lefty snowboarders have been terrorizing ski resorts and otherwise taking jobs away from ordinary skiiers for years; it stops here!” said Trump in a statement to ABCD news. “I’m going to make resorts great again..”, he added further;   “by either banning the filthy practice or by building a fence down the middle of resorts, with snowboarders one side and skiiers on the other”.

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Image: “I’ve had it with snowboarders” said Trump, who is finally expected to ban snowboarding if he wins today

Trump’s statement sent shivers through the snowboarding industry when it was revealed  he was unlikely to stop there, and would probably look to introduce a general ban across the world.

Trump has previously lamented the demise of the day-glow outfits of the eighties, stating “he preferred it when outfits matched his hairdo and complexion”.

The US Presidential election winds up today at around 3pm AEDT. For more satire, tune into our website, or visit our Facebook page. Cover image courtesy of http://wonkette.com

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