Scientists from Geo-Institute Australia today revealed the presence of a massive dormant volcano beneath one of Australia’s premier ski areas, Mt Perisher.
The discovery, described by experts as a significant geological find is also an ominous one according to Volcanologist, Dr Dr Ivan Redaldabooks. “This volcanic caldera is enormous; I don’t want to alarm people, but we are talking about a caldera 133 miles in diameter”. He added further, “Dormant volcanoes are by no means extinct volcanoes. Much like the super volcano at Yellow Stone in the USA, this volcano could erupt at any minute, and with devastating consequences”. “It really is a ticking time-bomb”.
Indeed. Snow industry experts revealed exclusively to Snowriders Australia that a volcanic eruption in the middle of winter would be devastating to tourism, probably forcing a downgrading of conditions from Excellent to Very good, or heaven forbid, just Good.
Snowboarders approached for comment were surprisingly nonchalant, stating they wouldn’t notice a volcanic eruption anyway, and with lift tickets at $100 a day, no one’s coming in because of a little molten lava.
Ski Area Management was quick to respond to the news, stating the resort was well covered for climatic anomalies, but not geological ones: “Yeah, our groomers can deal with most snow conditions, but they’ve never had to deal with magma”, said Area General Manager Yuri Sosnowski; “this definitely presents a new challenge for us, but not one as difficult as building an 800 bed resort in a car-park”.
The Geo-Institute is expected to make further comment today, including that in all likely-hood the discovery is an elaborate April Fools Day hoax, as are all comments and quotes presented in this article.